I have been thinking how I compare to myself-comparing the say, 19 year old Van to the 49 year old (current) version. I look at my physical self and of course the 19 year old wins in a total knock-out. Not only am I not the man I used to be I am not even on a linear decrease from that guy. I am more than a few "levels" away from what I was in terms of running, weight, ability, ability to improve, etc. I know that sounds normal. Most men are not at the level they were in younger days, but unlike most men I DO workout. I run, I am very active. But I do not seem to lose weight or get any better/faster.
I do have one thing more than I had at 19-I have experience. Experience and a better paying job. I do not think I am any smarter now. I am not able to concentrate for as long. I do not memorize scripture like I used to. I still spend time in the Word, and probably with more depth but I do not minister or serve as much as I did in college.
I certainly have more responsibilities and less freedom-even though at 19 years I lived at home and was under my parents. I now have to take into account 5 kids, 1 wife and to a degree the presence of dogs and cats. If I want to play a table tennis tournament in Austin I have to first check to see if I am on call, trade call if necessary, sign up, get permission from wife, make sure I am not missing some once in a lifetime event like a birthday party, or significant kid activity, make sure I am healthy, make sure no kids have a life threatening illness and even then I may be de-railed by a last second gastroenteritis viral process that hits my wife just hours before my 5 am departure.
Time-certainly there is less of it now. Probably 90% work related but also family related as well.
Lots of things I did not expect when I was 19.
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